A Little Part of Me Died Today...

I have been working out a little more than usual lately, and so far it feels great. I am actually feeling as though I have more stamina and am seeing some sort of results from lifting weights. I try and do my best by lifting, but it has always been hard with my body type. However, I got great advice from Charles and he gave me the inside scoop on his "steroid juice." I don't think I will go that far, but will just stick with good old hard work.

After I worked out I went to a place I have belittled for years, the tanning salon. Scratch that, I'm going to call it the tanning station, because salon sounds like a place I would have to wear a dress to. I am headed to Vegas in three weeks, and in my previous post I lamented about my skin and how it doesn't gain a whole lot of color. So I bit the big one, and bought 50 minutes to tan with. My experience was pretty good, despite having no idea what I was doing.

I signed all the forms and handed over my credit card to the hyper-orange human standing in front of me. I swear to you, this girl was maybe 5 feet, 87 pounds. But her skin looked as though she bathes in Orange Glow (Billy Mays Approved!!!). She asked if I knew what I was doing. I said no and any assistance in the process would be greatly appreciated. It was at that moment that awkwardness joined the conversation. Pure silence from both parties. She smiled, and I smiled, trying to forget about what I just said and how it sounded like I had propositioned her for sexual relations.

She showed me how it works and even turned the radio on for me. I got in and my first thought was that I was doing something I never thought I would do. Everything worked out fine, I cooked for only 5 minutes. She said the usual for a first-timer was 10 minutes. To which I responded that I would not have any skin left if I was in for 10 minutes. All in all it worked out, and I vow never to make fun of people who fake tan ever again. Unless you are orange, in which case you deserve all of the ridicule you get.