Once again I came here with the full intent of discussing this week in football, but something has gone and pissed me off, so it gets first treatment.
People taking long lunches makes me angry. First, I have to be on-air from 12 to 1 so I really don't get a true lunch. I eat while I work or peruse the Internet and thus don't go out. Ever. Because I can't. However, two women I work with (let's call them dumb shit and shit stain) go out to lunch all the time. And when they do, they really make it count. Today it was 2 hours and 5 minutes. That's right I clocked it. You know why, because while they are away I have to answer phones and take care of all the administrative duties. I would care less if I was out having lunch or laughing at pictures of cats in dresses, but I'm not. I'm doing their work. And I call bullshit. The only real question is do I go to them and call them on it, or just go to my boss and let him in on their lunchtime shenanigans.
It's not the biggest moral dilemma ever, but one I think he still needs to know about. If they were off having lunch and it had no consequence on me, I wouldn't care. Hell, they could go set a special-needs school on fire for all I care. But it affects me, and I've had enough. I am quitting my job soon anyways, so is there a real need to be nice about it? I'm not sure. But one thing is for certain, if they go out for lunch again I am sticking a banana in their tailpipe.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
A New Record.....
I set a new record with this post, two consecutive days of the shenanigans from my head. If I had enough ambition I would try to be a professional blogger, because giving your opinions while sitting in your underpants is a lot cooler than choking them down while sitting in an office.
Before I get to my real topic of the day, let's take a trip on the crazy train express known only as the tangents in my head. I heard a person cough today, and I for whatever reason said "bless you." I kind of thought it was a sneeze, but I just said it anyways. And here is what transpired next. They had the audacity to respond, "I coughed. That was not a sneeze. You only say bless you after a sneeze." I was floored. First off, who the eff are you to tell me whether I can say "bless you" or not. I'm being nice, I don't have to be. I could say, "Stop coughing you douche." I was nice, and I think it takes quite a bit to chastise somebody for giving a pseudo-compliment.
Secondly, who decided that it was only acceptable to say "bless you" after a sneeze. Is it the whole sneeze stops your heart thing? Because that is ludicrous. Is it because a sneeze is involuntary? Because that is dumb. You can't control coughs, just like you can't control sneezing. So from here out I'm saying something when people cough. It may not be bless you, but I will acknowledge it. So take that Mr. Man, you can't hold me down.
My real thought was that this nonsense over the SNL f-bomb needs to stop. So she said it, big deal. The sketch had the words frickin' and freakin' at least 100 times in 3 minutes. She slipped up once because it was bound to happen. I blame the writers for coming up with it because any human person if you have them say frickin' 100 times is going to say the gold standard at least once. They should feel fortunate that she only said it once. And it's not that big a deal, because words do not pollute the minds of children. Adults pollute the minds of children with their radical ideas and need to censor their kids from everything.
So people need to back off and embrace f-bombs on live TV, because they are hilarious. I was watching the show, and as always laughed when it was said. Just as I did when Lee Corso yelled it for some reason on College Gameday. It's always funny, especially when it's that news guy in New York. Remember America, keep fuckin' that chicken.
Before I get to my real topic of the day, let's take a trip on the crazy train express known only as the tangents in my head. I heard a person cough today, and I for whatever reason said "bless you." I kind of thought it was a sneeze, but I just said it anyways. And here is what transpired next. They had the audacity to respond, "I coughed. That was not a sneeze. You only say bless you after a sneeze." I was floored. First off, who the eff are you to tell me whether I can say "bless you" or not. I'm being nice, I don't have to be. I could say, "Stop coughing you douche." I was nice, and I think it takes quite a bit to chastise somebody for giving a pseudo-compliment.
Secondly, who decided that it was only acceptable to say "bless you" after a sneeze. Is it the whole sneeze stops your heart thing? Because that is ludicrous. Is it because a sneeze is involuntary? Because that is dumb. You can't control coughs, just like you can't control sneezing. So from here out I'm saying something when people cough. It may not be bless you, but I will acknowledge it. So take that Mr. Man, you can't hold me down.
My real thought was that this nonsense over the SNL f-bomb needs to stop. So she said it, big deal. The sketch had the words frickin' and freakin' at least 100 times in 3 minutes. She slipped up once because it was bound to happen. I blame the writers for coming up with it because any human person if you have them say frickin' 100 times is going to say the gold standard at least once. They should feel fortunate that she only said it once. And it's not that big a deal, because words do not pollute the minds of children. Adults pollute the minds of children with their radical ideas and need to censor their kids from everything.
So people need to back off and embrace f-bombs on live TV, because they are hilarious. I was watching the show, and as always laughed when it was said. Just as I did when Lee Corso yelled it for some reason on College Gameday. It's always funny, especially when it's that news guy in New York. Remember America, keep fuckin' that chicken.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Too Much Good Stuff....
This weekend has given me fodder for an entire week of rambling and yelling. And to that I say thank you Mr. Weekend.
I rented two movies this weekend and watched them by myself, because I'm awesome. The first was Vanilla Sky, which was quite possibly the most bizarre thing I have ever watched. A bunch of dream sequences interspersed with real life and then more dream and more life. However, the performances were decent, including Cameron Diaz (that's right I said it!). She was utterly terrifying as a stalker turned psycho. And proof once again that you never, ever cheat on a woman, because she will most definitely put you in a coma. Kudos as well to Jason Lee, who played the best friend. Guy can flat out act, and I wish he did more serious movies. Instead he does Alvin & the Chipmunks 3: Simon has Rabies.
The second film was Insomnia, which despite having Al Pacino and being directed by Christopher Nolan, I had never seen. It was pretty standard, nothing too special so I was a tad disappointed. However, Robin Williams was the supposed bad guy and didn't show up until mid way through the movie. Yet, he was billed as second star. If you have a movie like this don't tell me he's in it, because I most certainly know he is the bad guy since I haven't seen him yet. More movies need to be like Seven and do the whole Kevin Spacey mind effer thing.
Needless to say, I was a little spooked from being home alone in a house and watching these two movies in the dark. And there was a car parked outside the house from 9 to 11 PM with no one in it. I checked again, because I was sure it was Cameron Diaz looking to kill me, and it was gone. I was creeped out and like a little child, I grabbed my baseball bat from the garage and had it in my room as I slept. And that's when I was robbed and beaten. Just kidding, but seriously, I am a little girl.
And it is that nature that is preventing me from seeing Paranormal Activity at Eastgate this week. It's supposed to be freaky, and only cost $11,000 to make. Paramount has put it out on only 12 screens and one happens to be 5 minutes from my house. So I want to check it out, but will not go by myself. Reasons being:
1.) I don't want to look like a weirdo
2.) I don't want to look like a no-friend having loser
3.) If I am going to soil myself in public I would rather have a friend make fun of me than a stranger. So if I see it you will get a recap.
I have plenty of ammo on Saturday Night Live, this week in the NFL, and new television. These will all be shared at later dates this week.
I rented two movies this weekend and watched them by myself, because I'm awesome. The first was Vanilla Sky, which was quite possibly the most bizarre thing I have ever watched. A bunch of dream sequences interspersed with real life and then more dream and more life. However, the performances were decent, including Cameron Diaz (that's right I said it!). She was utterly terrifying as a stalker turned psycho. And proof once again that you never, ever cheat on a woman, because she will most definitely put you in a coma. Kudos as well to Jason Lee, who played the best friend. Guy can flat out act, and I wish he did more serious movies. Instead he does Alvin & the Chipmunks 3: Simon has Rabies.
The second film was Insomnia, which despite having Al Pacino and being directed by Christopher Nolan, I had never seen. It was pretty standard, nothing too special so I was a tad disappointed. However, Robin Williams was the supposed bad guy and didn't show up until mid way through the movie. Yet, he was billed as second star. If you have a movie like this don't tell me he's in it, because I most certainly know he is the bad guy since I haven't seen him yet. More movies need to be like Seven and do the whole Kevin Spacey mind effer thing.
Needless to say, I was a little spooked from being home alone in a house and watching these two movies in the dark. And there was a car parked outside the house from 9 to 11 PM with no one in it. I checked again, because I was sure it was Cameron Diaz looking to kill me, and it was gone. I was creeped out and like a little child, I grabbed my baseball bat from the garage and had it in my room as I slept. And that's when I was robbed and beaten. Just kidding, but seriously, I am a little girl.
And it is that nature that is preventing me from seeing Paranormal Activity at Eastgate this week. It's supposed to be freaky, and only cost $11,000 to make. Paramount has put it out on only 12 screens and one happens to be 5 minutes from my house. So I want to check it out, but will not go by myself. Reasons being:
1.) I don't want to look like a weirdo
2.) I don't want to look like a no-friend having loser
3.) If I am going to soil myself in public I would rather have a friend make fun of me than a stranger. So if I see it you will get a recap.
I have plenty of ammo on Saturday Night Live, this week in the NFL, and new television. These will all be shared at later dates this week.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Keep on Keepin' on....
I was up in Minneapolis this weekend, and I think the prospect of moving has finally hit me. I mean, I've been preparing and getting ready. But, I actually took things I own up this weekend and moved them into their place. I really like the place and how it's put together and where my stuff now fits in. I look forward to an impending move and am excited. On the other hand I am terrified, but only with the job hunting part. The being with the one I love and care about part will be really easy.
Didn't watch the Emmy's on Sunday, but from what I hear NPH was awesome. Not that I needed any validation because I already knew he was fantastic. For a gay man, he plays an unbelievably convincing womanizer. And seriously enough with 30 Rock and Mad Men. 30 Rock is not that funny. Tina Fey is a great impressionist and writer. But she is not a great actor, when will people learn this. And I am biased because I believe Dexter is the best show on TV. But holy hell, when is Michael C. Hall going to win an award? He has 4 Emmy nominations between two shows in a category that is nearly impossible to get nominated in. The man deserves a statue.
Baseball season winds down and football season kicks in. The Cubs blow. That description would work for 85 percent of all their seasons ever (Zach cries). But the Bears have hope. It rides on the insulin shocked shoulder of Colonel PoutyPants, but that is better than the Jack Daniels stained shirt of Drunky McNeckbeard. Suffice to say, I am excited for the Bears season, especially after a win over the Steelers.
Didn't watch the Emmy's on Sunday, but from what I hear NPH was awesome. Not that I needed any validation because I already knew he was fantastic. For a gay man, he plays an unbelievably convincing womanizer. And seriously enough with 30 Rock and Mad Men. 30 Rock is not that funny. Tina Fey is a great impressionist and writer. But she is not a great actor, when will people learn this. And I am biased because I believe Dexter is the best show on TV. But holy hell, when is Michael C. Hall going to win an award? He has 4 Emmy nominations between two shows in a category that is nearly impossible to get nominated in. The man deserves a statue.
Baseball season winds down and football season kicks in. The Cubs blow. That description would work for 85 percent of all their seasons ever (Zach cries). But the Bears have hope. It rides on the insulin shocked shoulder of Colonel PoutyPants, but that is better than the Jack Daniels stained shirt of Drunky McNeckbeard. Suffice to say, I am excited for the Bears season, especially after a win over the Steelers.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The Weekly Round-up....
Man, pop culture, isn't it grand? It gives morons like me so much to talk about, and in the end none of it truly matters. So here are some deep thoughts on who is in the news.
Kanye West - This guy will never go away. He has done stupid things in the past and he will do stupid things in the future. He was super drunk at the MTV awards show and cut off Taylor Swift. Which only would have been better had he cut her off while she was singing. It's been blown out of proportion, just like all his other outbursts. So get over it and try to understand the truly bizarre thing of that evening. Why was MTV awarding statues for videos it never shows and knows nothing about. That would be like having the Noble Peace Prize ceremony held at my house and hosted by Big Bird.
Patrick Swayze - The Hollywood wheel of death 2009 continues to go around and this one came as no surprise. Swayze was flat-out awesome. Road House remains one of the coolest movies of the 1980's and Donnie Darko, as most of you know, is one of my all-time favorites. Not to mention him starring in the funniest SNL sketch of the 90's. I will ever have embedded in my brain the images of him and Farley doing the Chippendale's dance off. "After a long and tough deliberation, we're going to go with Adrian," is still one of the funniest things they have done. So RIP, and my deepest condolences to your family and friends.
NFL Football - It's back, plain and simple. The Bears had a truly shit-kicker week. 4 picks by the new QB and the heart of the defense goes down on Week 1. Ouch. Either way, the NFL both sports wise and production wise blows every other sport off the water. And that will become truly apparent when the collective bargaining agreement ends and there is a work stoppage next year.
The Box Office - What is the matter with the general public? Why do they go see terrible movies? Are people really so stupid that they enjoy seeing a movie about a mall cop? Or a horror movie about an escalator that eats people? Or another GD Tyler Perry movie about family values with cross-dressing 6 foot 6 black dudes? I mean seriously, I have my guilty pleasures, but damn The Final Destination has to be atrocious.
And that my friends is the weekly wrap-up. And oh yeah this marks the first week of new TV, and Thursday is going to be my sit around in my diaper day as comedy shows make me poop myself. Community with Joel McHale and Chevy Effing Chase on NBC at 8:30 and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on FX at 9. Watch both of these. You will thank me on Friday.
Kanye West - This guy will never go away. He has done stupid things in the past and he will do stupid things in the future. He was super drunk at the MTV awards show and cut off Taylor Swift. Which only would have been better had he cut her off while she was singing. It's been blown out of proportion, just like all his other outbursts. So get over it and try to understand the truly bizarre thing of that evening. Why was MTV awarding statues for videos it never shows and knows nothing about. That would be like having the Noble Peace Prize ceremony held at my house and hosted by Big Bird.
Patrick Swayze - The Hollywood wheel of death 2009 continues to go around and this one came as no surprise. Swayze was flat-out awesome. Road House remains one of the coolest movies of the 1980's and Donnie Darko, as most of you know, is one of my all-time favorites. Not to mention him starring in the funniest SNL sketch of the 90's. I will ever have embedded in my brain the images of him and Farley doing the Chippendale's dance off. "After a long and tough deliberation, we're going to go with Adrian," is still one of the funniest things they have done. So RIP, and my deepest condolences to your family and friends.
NFL Football - It's back, plain and simple. The Bears had a truly shit-kicker week. 4 picks by the new QB and the heart of the defense goes down on Week 1. Ouch. Either way, the NFL both sports wise and production wise blows every other sport off the water. And that will become truly apparent when the collective bargaining agreement ends and there is a work stoppage next year.
The Box Office - What is the matter with the general public? Why do they go see terrible movies? Are people really so stupid that they enjoy seeing a movie about a mall cop? Or a horror movie about an escalator that eats people? Or another GD Tyler Perry movie about family values with cross-dressing 6 foot 6 black dudes? I mean seriously, I have my guilty pleasures, but damn The Final Destination has to be atrocious.
And that my friends is the weekly wrap-up. And oh yeah this marks the first week of new TV, and Thursday is going to be my sit around in my diaper day as comedy shows make me poop myself. Community with Joel McHale and Chevy Effing Chase on NBC at 8:30 and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on FX at 9. Watch both of these. You will thank me on Friday.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Honestly, This is Our Government?
And that title comes from someone who considers themself a democrat and a through and through liberal thinker. I watched President Obama speak about Health Care Reform last night and once again come away very confused. I'm still not sure what the plan is, but in my opinion it needs to get done. I realize opponents of the bill talk about how it will be bad for people and result in big government. I for one think that is false. I honestly think they have the people's best interest in their hearts.
I have private health care coverage, and guess what, it's not that great. I got a bill recently from the dentist after having a shit load of work done. It totaled $2,800. You know how much came out of my pocket? $1,400 of that. And there is still a bill outstanding. So through my private health care that I pay a portion to every pay period, they give me $1,000 worth of coverage per year. Now I don't look a gift horse in the mouth, because $1,000 is great. But for someone like myself it kinda hurts to write a check for $1,400. So, in conclusion health care is expensive, but my story about private coverage shows that in certain situations it's not that great either.
All in all one thing stuck with me last night. The President said no one should ever have to look at a sick child, or sister, or parent and tell them there is something that could help them, but they just can't afford it. I know we can't agree on much, but human decency should be at the top of the list.
Random thoughts from watching President Obama's Speech:
1.) Guy who shouted, "You Lie!!!" after the President made a point should immediately be removed from his office. Turns out it was Rep. Joe Wilson, a Republican from South Carolina. I understand that people disagree in our congress, but there is no place for that. It's insubordination and talking back to your boss. Turns out his ultimate boss is the President. He should be removed from office and then sentenced to some hellish job, or just go back to living in South Carolina. Boom!
2.) Nancy Pelosi looks like Joan Rivers on a good day. Her face has been lifted more times than a Kirstie Alley milkshake mug.
3.) We need more diversity in Congress. It's just old white dude after old white dude. More women would be good for the country and our overall morale. But dear god, no more pants suits. Someone needs to tell Hillary Clinton that you only wear pant suits if you are a 6 foot 5 woman. It's called a sweater, invest in them.
I have private health care coverage, and guess what, it's not that great. I got a bill recently from the dentist after having a shit load of work done. It totaled $2,800. You know how much came out of my pocket? $1,400 of that. And there is still a bill outstanding. So through my private health care that I pay a portion to every pay period, they give me $1,000 worth of coverage per year. Now I don't look a gift horse in the mouth, because $1,000 is great. But for someone like myself it kinda hurts to write a check for $1,400. So, in conclusion health care is expensive, but my story about private coverage shows that in certain situations it's not that great either.
All in all one thing stuck with me last night. The President said no one should ever have to look at a sick child, or sister, or parent and tell them there is something that could help them, but they just can't afford it. I know we can't agree on much, but human decency should be at the top of the list.
Random thoughts from watching President Obama's Speech:
1.) Guy who shouted, "You Lie!!!" after the President made a point should immediately be removed from his office. Turns out it was Rep. Joe Wilson, a Republican from South Carolina. I understand that people disagree in our congress, but there is no place for that. It's insubordination and talking back to your boss. Turns out his ultimate boss is the President. He should be removed from office and then sentenced to some hellish job, or just go back to living in South Carolina. Boom!
2.) Nancy Pelosi looks like Joan Rivers on a good day. Her face has been lifted more times than a Kirstie Alley milkshake mug.
3.) We need more diversity in Congress. It's just old white dude after old white dude. More women would be good for the country and our overall morale. But dear god, no more pants suits. Someone needs to tell Hillary Clinton that you only wear pant suits if you are a 6 foot 5 woman. It's called a sweater, invest in them.
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